I am about to get emotional, because this is the last episode of Season 8 of Are You the One!
So much happened on this, the last episode of the season. Pies were thrown. People got naked. Last minute hook-ups were had. Love was found. BUT DID THEY WIN THE MONEY? Read on to find out. I’m not here to spoil the final episode of this wonderful show without your consent.
After the Match Up Ceremony with the worst possible outcome, everyone’s feeling extremely bummed out. They know that one of the “stragglers” couples was coupled up correctly, but they have no idea which one. Kylie believes that beam is her and Amber. Paige says she thinks it’s Kari and Max. The stragglers are chatting to figure out who their matches are. You’re going to hear them referred to as “stragglers” a lot this episode, by the way.
I have to say it’s really cool watching all of the people who are confirmed couples get to know each other and get to the bottom of why it is the Matchmakers put them together. This is something that has happened a little bit in previous seasons, but never as much as it has in this season. By using math, the house was able to get to the bottom of who a lot of the matches are without using Truth Booth, meaning a lot of confirmed matches are still in the house together. I feel like there might be stronger couples coming out of this season because of this. But I guess only time will tell.
As for the stragglers, Amber and Max are flirting a lot, and Jenna ships it.
Like seriously Justin and Amber are just asking each other about their favorite colors and Jenna is having an orgasm over it. She says, “Justin and Amber are giving me life right now. They’re both so sexy.”
Meanwhile, Basit is over in the corner biting their nails to the quick because they’re not sure these idiots are going to be able to figure this shit out. Only time will tell.
It’s time for the FINAL CHALLENGE. And Dr. Frankie is back. Why? No one knows. Literally no one. Surely Dr. Frankie will not be back next season, because she provided nothing. Anyway, the last challenge of the season is a Love Language challenge. Terrence J will ask the contestants how each of them would prefer to be treated in different situations, and others will have to guess the answers. If someone gets the answer wrong, they get a pie in the face. The last people with clean faces get to go on dates with the person of their choice.
Here are some examples of questions.
Kylie got fired today. What would be most helpful when she gets home? Time, Touch, or Service? Paige guesses service, but the correct answer was Time, so Paige gets a pie to the face.
The last ones standing end up being Kylie, Basit and Kari. Kylie picks Amber, Basit picks Jonathan, and Kari picks Max.
On their date, they get to drive around Hawaii in Jeeps, being cute. Basit is so happy with Jonathan. They say they feel so understood by him. They never thought they would find someone who understands them the way Jonathan understands them. Despite the fact that I still don’t like Jonathan very much, I am glad to see Basit and Jonathan so happy together, and I do wish them all the best in the real world.
After driving around for a bit, the couples sit down to chat. Max asks Kari if she thinks they’re a perfect match. He thinks they compliment each other well and tells her, “I know you’re Ms. Strategy and I’m Mr. Heart, but this makes sense.” Kari agrees. She says it’s a nice feeling that someone sees beyond her tough, loud Jersey persona. Max says he can balance Scary Kari out. I know that’s what I want my perfect match to say to me.
Amber and Kylie are also vibing, but the perfect match is either Kari/Max or Amber/Kylie. It can’t be both. Amber says at the end of the day, she’s glad Kylie made out with Nour “because that pushed me away from her and now I’m with you.” I’m feeling red flags right away.
And now it’s time for the last TRUTH BOOTH! The votes are going every which way. Nour votes for Kylie and Amber. Paige says Max and Kari are the match. Jenna also votes for Kari and Max. Justin says he KNOWS Max and Kari are the match. But at the end of the day, the votes go to… Kylie and Amber.
You can tell Max and Kari are disappointed they didn’t get sent into the booth. Max says, “If they’re a no match, be prepared to say ‘Max was right.’” Jenna says this isn’t about two people having a really good time together anymore. And seriously, clearly this Kylie/Amber thing is just about having a good time together.
Amber and Kylie are not a match. Kari is crying. Max is sending out the “I told you so”s.
The stragglers sit down together because they still have so much they need to figure out. At this point, they’re basing their decision making on the assumption that Kari and Max were that beam because nobody really thinks Justin and Remy make sense together. Remy says, “I know I’m a lot to handle. Amber is the one who can check me.” But Justin is also sure Amber is his match. Poor Kylie.
Danny, the house mathematician, is trying to just let these kids do their homework in peace. He says, “I feel like a helicopter mom right now. I know I can’t make my kid’s decisions for them. But there’s nothing I can do.”
With Max and Kari a presumed perfect match, these final four stragglers have got to figure out the right pairing. Amber asks Justin and Remy if they would be okay with her wearing the pants in the relationship. Remy says he would be okay with her wearing the pants because he can wear a skirt. Justin is like, straight up, no, I want to be in charge. Kylie tells Justin she’s okay with him being in charge.
Well dang. Is that it? That was easy.
So they’re going with Max/Kari, Kylie/Justin, and Remy/Amber. Now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to go skinny dipping.
Helicopter Danny says, “They have found the couples who make the most sense to them. Let’s get naked. Fuck it.” Bless him.
A good majority of the house jumps into the pool completely naked. Max is sitting this one out. He says, “Absolutely not.”
Basit and Jonathan are also watching from the sidelines. Basit says, “This doesn’t look sanitary at all.”
While everyone’s rolling around each other in the pool Rocky Horror Picture Show style, Amber and Justin start low key making out. And then they take it to the Boom Boom Room. Not gonna lie. It’s hot.
Somewhere Jenna must be hyperventilating. Someone check in on her.
Okay. Time for the FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY! Let’s go! Basit says they need to get this right for the queer community.
Danny (or “Professor Danny” as they refer to him tonight) picks Kai. Of Danny, Kai says, “He gives me affection and validation without all the jealousy and drama and triggers.” Aw. Danny says Kai is basically a role model for him. Brandon says, “Everyone’s sleeping on Danny. He’s a really handsome guy.” No shit, Brandon. Brandon gets it, y’all.
Max says he has to follow his heart. His perfect match is Kari, and he knows he’s right. Kari says she knows he’s right too. Max says, “I’ve felt the worst I’ve ever felt. I’ve felt the best I’ve ever felt. I’ve met people that have made me better. I’ve met people I’ve loved and do love.” Aw. Max says it took an experience like this to make him open to his sexuality. He can’t wait to see what happens. Bless him.
Amber says she wishes she could be as confident as everyone else here but unfortunately she’s not. Justin says if she’s not following her heart she might make the wrong decision. At the end of the day, Amber goes with head over heart and picks Remy.
Danny is freaking out. If Amber should have picked Justin, this choice will have lost them the whole game.
Of course Jonathan and Basit sit together. Jonathan says all of his expectations were checked at the door when he met Basit. He says he 110% plans on continuing this romance with Basit. Basit says they don’t know how they deserve Jonathan, but they’re not questioning it.
Jenna picks Paige.
Nour picks Jasmine.
Lastly, we have Justin and Kylie.
And the outcome…
After sitting there for 5,000 years waiting for beams to light up…
THEY GET ALL 8 BEAMS! They win! I started crying and I don’t even know why! This was such a beautiful moment.
I’m so happy for them, and from the bottom of my heart, I hope that these couples work out. Or at least a few of them. It seems like a lot of them have remained friends, which just warms my heart. What an amazing season of Are You the One. I really do hope they continue to feature queer casts from here on out, but we will just have to wait and see.
For now, it’s been great watching this show with all of you. I guess now summer is officially over. Never mind what the calendars say.