We made it to the end of this god-forsaken season. We are wounded, both physically and emotionally, and we mostly want it all to end. The night before the finale, CBS announced new procedures for dealing with all of this, but it is a little too late for this season’s cast and the crewmember who was also the subject of Dan’s unwanted and inappropriate touching. Dan offered a half-hearted “sorry if you were offended” not-apology, and while I am sure we will have plenty to say about all of this, first we must get through this finale (and...sigh...reunion show). Here we go!
Read more12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 10: A Nasty Piece of Work
On the 10th Day of Christmas Movies, we return to Hulu for another Christmas installment of Into the Dark! As promised.
This is the story of a struggling office worker who is OF COURSE named Ted (played by Kyle Howard). Ted sucks up hardcore to his boss in the hopes of receiving a promotion. Then, after finding out at the office Christmas party that no one is getting a Christmas bonus this year, Ted is invited to an exclusive private afterparty at the boss’s (Julian Sands) house. What at first seems like a quiet dinner party soon turns out to be a strange competition for a coveted promotion.
Sure, this movie is clearly commenting on the uneven distribution of wealth in this country and how people will do whatever it takes when it comes to money. But is it any good?
Read moreHis Dark Materials S1E7: Bear Ways, Not Human
It’s time for a bear battle! Are you ready?
That’s right. The genre for this episode is BEAR BATTLE. But first, some other stuff happens. Let’s talk through it all and see how Lyra and friends are doing in this, the second to last episode of the season. That’s right, we’re already here.
Read moreYA Book Club: The Babysitters Coven
Mary: For this installment of YA Book Club, we're reading The Babysitter's Coven by Kate Williams. The novel follows Esme Pearl, a high schooler with a babysitter's club (OK, it's just her and her friend Janis, but still), just like in the novels. Everything goes sideways when a new girl appears as school, Cassandra Heaven, and the girls discover they have magical babysitter powers! This book is described as Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Adventures in Babysitting, and I definitely agree that it relies heavily on several different supernatural-teen favorites, as well as The Babysitter's Club.
Read more12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 9: Black Christmas
I’m so excited to finally get to review a feminist Christmas horror film. We don’t get enough of these, do we?
Black Christmas (directed by Sophia Takal) is the 2019 remake of a 1974 Canadian film of the same name. To be fair, I have not seen the 1974 film. Maybe that’s a review for another day? So I cannot say for sure how closely this film adapts the original. But this is what the 2019 movie is about: A group of girls from various sororities start getting weird threatening messages from someone who claims to be the (very dead) founder of their school. And then they start getting killed off… one by one. But this is more than a slasher film! This one’s got a definite feminist message. Let’s get into it.
Read moreSurvivor S39: e13 Recap "Just Go for It"
Hello! We’re back for the 2nd to last episode of this season. What will happen now that the “white whale” Karishma has been voted out? Will Hurricane Noura strike back at her old allies? Or will someone else we like be voted out in favor of people we don’t like? Only one way to find out! On to the re-cap!
Read more12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 8: Mistletoe & Menorahs
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah, y’all.
I have been promising to cover a Hanukkah movie in this 12 Days of Christmas Movies series, and sadly, Hallmark’s new movie Mistletoe & Menorahs is the best I could do. This is the tale of a boring white woman who needs to learn more about Hanukkah to impress a Jewish guy so she can land a big account for the toy company she works for. Fortunately, she finds the only Jewish person in America who knows nothing about Christmas, and so they teach each other all about the traditions of their respective faiths. In the process, they realize that both holidays have more in common than they originally thought. And no, it’s not latkes. It’s love. Aw.
Read moreHis Dark Materials S1E6: You're After Dust
Remember last week when I said each episode of His Dark Materials is its own genre? Yeah, this is the prison escape movie episode.
Unlike previous episodes where we jump around to check in on multiple storylines, the majority of this episode goes down in Bolvangar, the far north research facility where the Magisterium experiments on children. Yes, it’s as terrible as it sounds, and it’s a place that has been teased the entire season. So it makes sense that we’re stuck here for an episode. Like Lyra, we’re trapped in this place and are forced to reckon with exactly how awful it is. I’m just going to come out and say it. This was a really good episode. I got emotional. So let’s just get to it.
Read more12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 7: Klaus
We’re entering the second half of 12 Days of Christmas Movies with a cute little Netflix movie called Klaus.
This is a Santa Claus origin film. It’s not the first Santa Claus origin film ever, but it’s definitely a new take on what I am dubbing the Santa Claus Origin Film Genre (TM). So how does this story of a postman who inadvertently invents the Santa Claus tradition fare in comparison to other takes on the Santa Claus origin film genre? We’ll have to run it through my patented (not really) Christmas movie rating system to find out.
Read moreTrue Life: I Puke When I'm Nervous and Knives Out Made Me Feel Seen
When I was in high school and spending way too much time at my local Barnes and Noble, one of the most memorable books I picked up to read was It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini. What makes it stand out in my mind is not necessarily the writing style or the plot or even the characters, but the fact that it was the first time I’d ever encountered a description of something that up until that point, I was almost certain I was alone in experiencing: chronic anxiety-induced vomiting.
Apparently, we’ve come a long way since 2006. Several of this year’s biggest films feature main characters suffering from this same affliction, including Lorene Scafaria’s Hustlers, Elizabeth Banks’ Charlie’s Angels reboot, and Rian Johnson’s spectacular whodunnit, Knives Out. In particular, Knives Out takes the concept and poses a hypothetical I’ve never even considered: what if my unfortunate physiological response to anxiety was actually useful?
(CW: anxiety, depression, puke.)
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