I know what you’re thinking. Is Disney’s Frozen II a Christmas movie?

Yes and no. Yes, many people considered the first Frozen film a Christmas movie, probably because people who celebrate Christmas have sort of commandeered snow as a Christmas accessory (SEE: basically every Christmas anything). And Frozen is nothing if not a snow movie. There is a bit less snow in this movie, but there is still plenty of snowman. And family. And music. And heart. And all the other Christmas planeteers are present. So let’s just call it a Christmas movie and let me write about it, okay? Okay.

Before we get into it, though, a quick disclaimer. I am not a Frozen fanatic. I thought the first frozen movie was just okay. The music was forgettable, but it was saved by freakin Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell and a sweet story about sisterhood. Also, sorry, I love Olaf the snowman. But at the end of the day, would I rather be watching Moana? You know it. All day every day.

But since Moana isn’t a Christmas movie in the slightest and since there is no sequel to Moana… yet, here we are. Talking about Frozen II. The whole gang is back for a new adventure featuring new songs and new outfits. Seriously, every time Elsa belts out a song, she gets a fabulous new dress and I’m very jealous.

Also: I see you working those adventure lewks, girlfriends.

But we’re not here to rate the outfits, sadly. We’re here to rate the Christmas vibes. So let’s do this.

Romance: 6/10. Anna and Kristoff are still going strong, and there’s a proposal at the end of this movie. This isn’t really a spoiler because Kristoff spends the entire movie trying to get the perfect proposal together. But this romantic plot is very secondary to the love between the sisters that truly drives this movie.

There’s also been a lot of uproar that Elsa isn’t openly gay or have a female love interest in the movie. I’m ALL FOR Elsa coming out as canonically gay. It makes sense. However, I also love how both Elsa and Moana, two female main characters from two of the most recent Disney movies, have plots that are more about their discovery of themselves and empowerment rather than romance. Male characters are allowed to go on non-romantic hero’s journeys all the time. And we don’t (usually) ask when they’re going to get their love interest. I think it’s nice that we’re not pushing love plot lines where they don’t belong. Just let these awesome ladies be.

It’s great… but also… not very Christmassy. Sorry, Elsa.

Morality: 10/10. Disney movies are really good at getting that morality bit into their stories, and Frozen II is no different. Here, the main moral of the story seems to be learning to coexist and accepting people who are different from you. And of course, there’s more of that “finding yourself” and finding where you belong and all of that stuff. That’s all grand. Simple, but it’s a Disney movie. What do you want? This isn’t Moana.

Music: 5/10. As with the first movie, this music was the definition of mediocre. And there weren’t any songs about snow this time even! Not very Christmassy, Frozen II! Idina Menzel’s talents are wasted on blah songs like “Into the Unknown.” And songs like “Some Things Never Change” are just CATEGORICALLY WRONG. Things do change, people. You won’t be holding each other’s hands forever because one day you’ll both be dead. Stop lying to me.

The best song from this really bland bunch of songs was the comedic Jonathan Groff-led number “Lost in the Woods.” Picture “Agony” from Into the Woods, but as an 80’s rock ballad, and you’ll kind of get the tone of this song. Jonathan Groff, your vocal talents are also wasted here, but at least this is funny.

Olaf’s song “When I Am Older” (sung by Josh Gad)? Not funny. Come on, snowman.

Christmas Spirit: 5/10. It seems unfair to rate this movie on “Christmas” spirit because, as I’ve said, it’s not very Christmassy. And there was very little snow, even. However, there was a lot of familial love and sisters hugging and being cute. And there was still a snowman. So I’m letting this pass through with a 5/10.

Warmth: 9/10. LOL that’s funny because it’s a movie about an ice queen, but… yeah, this movie has a fair amount of warmth. As I’ve mentioned over and over again, the sisterly love is a big selling point for me. And the chemistry between Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel, even as cartoon characters, is pretty sweet. Side characters Olaf and Sven add a nice dose of cuteness as well. And then there’s our newest character…

His name is Bruni. I won’t give away anything else about this little guy, but I would die for him.

I’m still docking a point for warmth because this movie is a sequel. And as with most sequels, there’s something inherently hollow and money-grabby about it.

So what’s the overall rating of this movie, based on my CHRISTMAS-MOVIE-OMETER?

35/50 = 70%/C-. This seems about right. As a normal movie, I’d probably give it closer to a C+ or B-.

Overall, I think it’s probably not fair to call this a Christmas movie, but at the same time, it’s a great movie to watch around Christmas time with the people you love, whether it’s snowing outside or not. Is this movie remarkable? No. But it will be a crowd appeaser.

Then again, Moana is available on Disney+ right now, sooo…. maybe just go watch that instead.