12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 12: Die Hard

December 27, 2019 Emily

Christmas ain’t over ‘til the Nakatomi Plaza Christmas Party goes down, am I right?

Look up the 1988 movie Die Hard, and you’ll quickly discover that the Internet is filled with articles asking the age-old question: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Yes or no? Well, I, Emily Martin, having never watched Die Hard previously before embarking on this 12 Days of Christmas Movies project, knew I had to end the series with a bang. And here it is: today, on the blog, for our final installation of 12 Days of Christmas Movies, we’ll be definitively answering the question once and for all.

And by we, I mean me. I’m alone.

So… is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Let’s take the film through our (my) patented Christmas movie scoring system to find out.

The Bachelor First Impressions: It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

December 26, 2019 The Squad

We’re less than two weeks away from Peter Weber’s Bachelor season premiere, which means it’s time to judge some women based on their badly written bios!

While we here at #BookSquadGoals were all very vocally in support of a Mike Johnson-led season, we’re not gonna lie. At least 3/4 of us will be watching this season nevertheless. Even though Peter Weber does, at first, second, third, and fourth glance, definitely feel like more of the same. Another white dude. Another pilot. At least we know he’s not a virgin this time. And… At least the cast pictures are a little more flattering this year?

Let’s put on our judging goggles and get this party started.

12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 11: A Christmas Carol

December 22, 2019 Emily

Is A Muppet Christmas Carol still the best adaptation of Charles Dickens’ popular Christmas novella? Or will the new BBC/FX adaptation take its place?

I cannot keep this charade up for long. It won’t. This latest of many adaptations of A Christmas Carol, written by Peaky Blinders creator Steven Knight, leans heavily into the ghost story elements of this classic Christmas tale. The number one goal of this adaptation is to be as dark as humanly possible. The second goal is to be as long as humanly possible. I believe we were almost an hour into the movie before we even meet any of the ghosts.

Because of this, I would honestly consider this film a retelling rather than an adaptation. To add length and grit and darkness, this version reimagines many of the major plot points of the story. There’s a whole back story for Jacob Marley’s ghost and his motivations, which is something NO ONE ASKED FOR EVER. There’s a subplot for Martha Cratchit, which is… fine, I guess. Scrooge’s backstory is fleshed out a lot more. For instance, did you know he’s a One Thousand and One Nights fanboy? Well. He is now.

Anyway, let’s just run this thing through the handy dandy Christmas movie scoring system and be done with it.

Survivor S39 Finale Recap

December 21, 2019 Todd & Mary

We made it to the end of this god-forsaken season. We are wounded, both physically and emotionally, and we mostly want it all to end. The night before the finale, CBS announced new procedures for dealing with all of this, but it is a little too late for this season’s cast and the crewmember who was also the subject of Dan’s unwanted and inappropriate touching. Dan offered a half-hearted “sorry if you were offended” not-apology, and while I am sure we will have plenty to say about all of this, first we must get through this finale (and...sigh...reunion show). Here we go!

12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 10: A Nasty Piece of Work

December 20, 2019 Emily

On the 10th Day of Christmas Movies, we return to Hulu for another Christmas installment of Into the Dark! As promised.

This is the story of a struggling office worker who is OF COURSE named Ted (played by Kyle Howard). Ted sucks up hardcore to his boss in the hopes of receiving a promotion. Then, after finding out at the office Christmas party that no one is getting a Christmas bonus this year, Ted is invited to an exclusive private afterparty at the boss’s (Julian Sands) house. What at first seems like a quiet dinner party soon turns out to be a strange competition for a coveted promotion.

Sure, this movie is clearly commenting on the uneven distribution of wealth in this country and how people will do whatever it takes when it comes to money. But is it any good?

His Dark Materials S1E7: Bear Ways, Not Human

December 19, 2019 Emily

It’s time for a bear battle! Are you ready?

That’s right. The genre for this episode is BEAR BATTLE. But first, some other stuff happens. Let’s talk through it all and see how Lyra and friends are doing in this, the second to last episode of the season. That’s right, we’re already here.

YA Book Club: The Babysitters Coven

December 17, 2019 Mary & Emily

Mary: For this installment of YA Book Club, we're reading The Babysitter's Coven by Kate Williams. The novel follows Esme Pearl, a high schooler with a babysitter's club (OK, it's just her and her friend Janis, but still), just like in the novels. Everything goes sideways when a new girl appears as school, Cassandra Heaven, and the girls discover they have magical babysitter powers! This book is described as Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Adventures in Babysitting, and I definitely agree that it relies heavily on several different supernatural-teen favorites, as well as The Babysitter's Club.

12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 9: Black Christmas

December 15, 2019 Emily

I’m so excited to finally get to review a feminist Christmas horror film. We don’t get enough of these, do we?

Black Christmas (directed by Sophia Takal) is the 2019 remake of a 1974 Canadian film of the same name. To be fair, I have not seen the 1974 film. Maybe that’s a review for another day? So I cannot say for sure how closely this film adapts the original. But this is what the 2019 movie is about: A group of girls from various sororities start getting weird threatening messages from someone who claims to be the (very dead) founder of their school. And then they start getting killed off… one by one. But this is more than a slasher film! This one’s got a definite feminist message. Let’s get into it.

Survivor S39: e13 Recap "Just Go for It"

December 14, 2019 Todd & Mary

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Hello! We’re back for the 2nd to last episode of this season. What will happen now that the “white whale” Karishma has been voted out? Will Hurricane Noura strike back at her old allies? Or will someone else we like be voted out in favor of people we don’t like? Only one way to find out! On to the re-cap!

12 Days of Christmas Movies, Day 8: Mistletoe & Menorahs

December 13, 2019 Emily

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah, y’all.

I have been promising to cover a Hanukkah movie in this 12 Days of Christmas Movies series, and sadly, Hallmark’s new movie Mistletoe & Menorahs is the best I could do. This is the tale of a boring white woman who needs to learn more about Hanukkah to impress a Jewish guy so she can land a big account for the toy company she works for. Fortunately, she finds the only Jewish person in America who knows nothing about Christmas, and so they teach each other all about the traditions of their respective faiths. In the process, they realize that both holidays have more in common than they originally thought. And no, it’s not latkes. It’s love. Aw.

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